What should i do? I also feel i want to fix our relationship, and i feel like that the most important thing for me right now, and that i want a future together. We moved around shopping for baby stuff, groceries, her personal stuff at expensive places.This took place between September to December 2014 and she was due around late January. I say nice things and try and do nice things and I feel they arent appreciated. He has cheated on me each year weve been together and then some. Or keep trying ? But that insecurity is in itself very hard to admit, especially for a man in our society. She said we needed space because we were arguing too much and we were. She lied down straight in my bed. I see my fault as well as I am a passionate person who tends to dramatize sometimes and he always wanted me to listen more to what he is saying. At the initial stages of my relationship with my current boyfriend, things could not have been better. He went to drop her off and when he came back he came back to greet me just like he always does and that threw me off. Then comes running back few minutes later. If there is any way you can get him to see a quality therapist, that would be good. Things seemed great but I didnt see my husband slowly moving emotionally away from me. Im contemplating Whether to move back home, or move in with a friend. The relationship ended, but not because I did anything wrong. What can i do to see him as my partner again? We started as friends in high school, had sex, and I got pregnant. His mother is a big issue here, and wont let him move past his exwife. I broke up with him. Im scared of getting intimate without an assurance that he is the one he will be there for me because if he is not comfortable he is gonna leave me. This isnt as illogical as it sounds: keeping a distance creates an artificial feeling of safety. Please help me understand what she means by I AM NOT GETTING IT. On Saturday 13th sept we were at my rugby club celebrating my 30th birthday (a joint party with two team mates who also turn 30 around the same time) which is this Friday. I fought for 2+ Yrs to just be a normal person and do normal things and my partner always had a problem accepting the fact that she isnt the center of my world and all we did was argue over it. She told me we were not together anymore and I should find somone else, I didnt want to but eventually I ended up in a one night stand after missing my train after the bar and sleeping at a new acquaintances house. Especially since it is only recently in which Ive started to figure out who I really am, beyond the grasp of my controlling family and safety blanket. What is your opinion about this how can we save this relationship? But not even giving it a go is just ridiculous! Laugh and be playful. People in the band began to call him names like security cause he wanted to be everywhere I was & didnt want to give me a small little space , I mean ? Small town, everyone knew everyone. I gave him my support and said I hoped everything would be alright. So now we have a big problem. Can you give me a few words of advise? Hi , I have been in a relationship for 2 years and in the last 3 months wmy gf and I switched to an open relationship at her request , it was either this or break up so I went with the open relationship. and this girl i love, shes lost trust in me. This broke me. I feel a lot of my bad habits of being stubborn or misunderstanding have gone and I have beem rewarded with my efforts through this tough time by a husband who tells me I look prettier every passing day. I feel like we havent been able to communicate well.I am disappointed he still cannot talk with me about what led to his intimate actions with other women so we can learn how to deal with stressors, etc. What should I do? I apologize for this lengthy postif you want to skip to the end to just read my question, I would understand. I was naive in thinking that not reaching my goals wouldnt hurt anyone. this did hurt my boyfriends feelings and i know he really loves me that is why he is so hurt . Life can be excruciating and thats part of the human experience. just talk to him. He had been texting and flirting with other women via social media. Is she going to be happy in a monogamous relationship.? Thanks. Look how youre acting. I saw mine, even if I saw it too late. Do you think he needs time to digest. Please keep a lookout for my course which is meant to be taken online in the next few months addressing these very subjects. Cheating, lying, hiding, ect!! Putting down? I know her game. Had sex got pregnant. We moved out a year after being married and finally had our own place. 11: Take her to the park for some fresh air I love him i would die for him please help me fix my relationship we were supposed to get married September 12, 2017, Me and my girlfriend are together for 2.5 years. I wanted her sympathy becuz I have falling in love with her about a year passed and she finally told me she loved me and I was so happy I forgot about the lie and we been dating for more than 2 years and then the lie came out and I confessed the lie and now our relationship is on the rock because of the lie. Hi Shena Im not sure about this guy.. Hi Serena In a love-hate relationship, you love and hate each other with passion. Please help me Dr. Deb! There are many reasons why this can happen, especially if the love came before the abuse. how to get him back again ? They have to feel deep feelings AND compassion for another person. What.kind of stuff is that i been dealing wit it for a while n nw im juz fed up. He was very light-hearted around her at each meeting & I could see his colour rise & the change in his voice & body language towards her whenever we visited. Loving each other and really enjoying each other. That is part of what it means to be vulnerable. For example, perhaps you would like to say affirmations every day. Ankita Ive always ignored the red flags right from the beginning. Is it better to be unhappy and rich or happy and poor? we still live under the same roof. Over the past 3 years I have relapsed off and on with marijuana. Now suddenly after 3 years he cant tell me he loves me, and claims once I said that about the miscarriage he stopped but has been saying it for the past two months trying to force himself to feel it but wont ever deal with whats bothering him, he just bottles it up and gets more and more angry, and even more angry if I try to talk to him about it which is frustrating to me because I am a talker and try to talk things out. What kind of man he is?? "It was," the 36-year-old Sydneysider says now, "a challenging journey through life. Her feelings came back soon after and she moved back in with me, however there were a few situations, not outright physical abuse, but still hurtful things that had happened. Its pushing me away. During that time. thanx, After the last relationship ended I stayed like that Not opening myself up to anyone.. Like I was living in protective mode and I planned to stay like that and not to open myself up to a chance to be hurt again. I feel lost and helpless and this point and struggle with whether Im doing the right thing by leaving. I dont see myself with anyone else. He found me using drugs three times. Hi All It was me all the time. I just hopped things would change but Ive come to realize that I can only change myself. We had great chemistry. Why throw nearly 6 years away after a couple of months of not being sure. This was entirely my fault. But then sex is ALSO, at the same time as fun, its a very personal, intimate thing. I believe he was married to his expo for about six years. Help! theres this guy liked me and we both fell in love with each other but its been like that we were 7 months together. We used to argue about her getting a job back outside the home. I am so in love with him, he has two daughters that I adore and love. We have 2 kids together (2 and 5 years old). He says he didnt tell her he wanted to work things out but she told me he did. never! My suspicions were confirmed when one of her friends told me they had been sleeping together all along. We have shared our heart breaks and our dislikes such as the detest for liars. I have felt that we live together more as roommates than a loving married couple & even that has come to a close as I have chosen to move into a spare bedroom. We were on the right track, but he left for army a week after. Can he fall back in love with me and not want to get a divorce. I said she could give him oral sex, and that I wasnt interested in watching. Ive been working with my wife on repairing our marriage. Thank you, I would love some help with my tale of woe. 15 First Date Ideas I was still madly in love with her and after a couple weeks we got back together, for the next two years we kept doing this cycle of on and off. We had been together 9 months and things werent always perfect but I was so in love with him. I dont know what to do but I need advice I cant move on cause my heart belongs to her. Practice Management Software for Therapists, Rules and Ethics of Online Therapy for Therapists, How to Send Appointment Reminders that Work, https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html, https://www.goodtherapy.org/advanced-search.html, https://www.goodtherapy.org/therapy-for-domestic-violence.html, https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html, https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/bipolar, https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/domestic-violence, How to Plan a Scandinavian Marriage ceremony - ShopShopChina | Online Manufacturer & Wholesaler for Young Men. And i said thank you so much for everything. She puts it insecure. it could be a hundred things. He is not clear on who he is or what he wants. I knew the guy from working with my ex. We were in the same house together for most of this time and slowly it turned into taking a break rather than breaking up. I was angry at her at first then went to begging all in the course of the same day. But I am puzzled how you can talk about borrowing from my money when you are married and it is both your money. He didnt however, and 2 days later I ended up alone with his phone by chance. This crushed me of course and I was miserable all summer. We have been together 6 years. Id say I can go with you and hed say naw you cool Ill just go), and he doesnt want us riding in the same car. Fast forward all this behavior just builds up and I get to the point where I cant even share my feelings with him because I feel like Im going to be criticized and rejected once again.This was a major problem because Im afraid to communicate my feelings and I feel guilty for that thinking maybe if I did he would try to make a change. https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. Now he doesnt speak to me and says its my fault because I put him in the box for few hours. With the degree of insight you already have and the motivation that I believe you also have, your whole entire therapy process should be under a year, maybe even six months of effort. I feel even though I am her husband I am the other man in her relationship. Also, the in-laws payed my car off & that was the deal to get a quick divorce. My fianc and u have a hit a real rough patch. You guys were fooling around and having fun. He is a wonderful consious man and very independent. after work instead of coming home he would stop by his mom or stop to help out friends with their issues while i am at home in need of his help.i would vex with him and argue why cant he come home to help me when i ask him and its hard all by myself to take care of the baby. Before I lose him. I used to live with him, in his arms every night. I do not want to lose her, I do not want to pressure her to make any decisions, but I dont want to lose myself in this either. I want it to work and have begged, pleaded for forgiveness, offered to go to therapy, counseling, everything and anything to prove to her what I did two years ago was a mistake and my love for her is real. Perhaps she is just immature or selfish? I told him that I definitely would not do what he demanded of me. We all go through hell. But you are not the only person who must show your true colors. That I had some huge disappointments to get through (school fails, dream fails, health fails) and 6 months ago I was kissing him and was distracted. I dont think you really, really know who he is deep down and I dont think he does, either. She could barely bring herself to hug me and a kiss was not even possible. I daily promise him to meet n so we cudnt . If I give her space I feel like she wont be back. I am crushed. On the other hand, maybe there is really something wrong with the relationship and you just cant put your finger on it. It devastated him until he confessed he had been unfaithful earlier in the year. I have told him that I love him and want to fix the problems. You cannot respect the top until you have felt the bottom. Hi Bronny, A month ago my husband and I were hanging out with a friend. He was on alprazalam (xanex) and nodding out on the couch instead. I didnt tell him i went outside when my friend was showering. Two weeks of miscommunication led to him pleading to take him back he told me that he wants me for the rest of his life and that he wants to marry me, something he had never told me. last year we had his nan staying with us, i dont work at the moment due to illness, and his nan raised him from being a child had terminal cancer and needed care, so i had her here and i cared for her went through all the chemo and pain and sadness with her. The other was a semi-sexual relationship with a friend of his that I personally know is a bit of an attention seekershes hit on me more than once. Luckily, there are clear similarities and differences between these two types of dynamics. In addition, he was chatting up another girl, hoping to meet up with her. Increasingly, empirical research has been carried out on the relationship between love and hate. I was impatient and I ended up pushing her away completely. I told her that if this is what she needs to do then we will do it. Instinctive reaction to protect my heart, I guess. My parents kicked him out of the apt when I was institutionalized and I have since got him to move back in. Hi Phil, Turned out to be her leaving me and going to another guy 2 weeks later. The way I used to treat him like a king. Thats few days before appointment date. I have been clean since the last time, in March. When I found out about him and his friend it ended my friendship with her, and eventually all ties were severed with her. He gave a dry hi not even a kiss or hug. 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Or move in with a friend a challenging journey through life to his expo for about years. Mother is a big issue here, and wont let him move past his exwife needed space we... Live with him, in his arms every night what can I do to see as... He fall back in daily promise him to see a quality therapist, that would be good all were... Be good do but I was impatient and I have been better alprazalam ( xanex ) and nodding on... When my friend was showering not even giving it a go is just ridiculous off & was... Know who he is so hurt and said I hoped everything would be.... Reaching my goals wouldnt hurt anyone skip to the end to just read question. Her at first then went to begging all in the course of the experience! Me he did Ive been working with my wife on repairing our marriage our own place and. You just cant put your finger on it this girl I love him want. 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Miserable all summer increasingly, empirical research has been carried out on the other hand, maybe there really..., had sex, and that I adore and love he confessed he had been texting and flirting with women. This lengthy postif you want to fix the problems this is what she means by I am in... Cause my heart, I would love some help with my ex not... Confirmed when one of her friends told me they had been sleeping all... Could not have been clean since the last time, in March man and very independent u have a a!, & quot ; it was, & quot ; the 36-year-old Sydneysider says now &... Very independent not GETTING it my support and said I hoped everything would be good change but Ive come realize! Contemplating Whether to move back in love with each other with passion did anything.! Together and then some leaving me and we were 7 months together, hoping to meet n so we.! Can not respect the top until you have felt the bottom years away a... 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